How Does Negative Self-talk Arise And How Do We Overcome It?

Negative Self-Talk

Due to unresolved issues, memories, or patterns from a person’s painful childhood, or from having a judgemental mind, our thoughts can be severely negative. To get rid of these mental conflicts—which creates negative self-talk—people may consult a  psychotherapist.

We often wonder why we think badly about ourselves, which lowers our self-esteem and confidence. Or, we do this mental act toward those we love, and thereby, feel guilty, shameful, or regretful. The more we entertain negativity, the more it can, and will harm one’s mental, social, emotional—and spiritual health. 

Therefore, think about your own concerns regarding negative self-talk. Read this blog to learn about its definition, negative effects, and ways to heal it.

What Is Self-Defeating Talk?

Do you ever feel that a voice in your head continuously tells you that you are unworthy, can’t do a task, or that your aspirations will always remain unattainable? If so, you just found the definition of what’s called, self-deprecating speech. 

girl talking on phone

What Leads to Unfavorable Self-Talk?

Negative self-talk can be a symptom of a serious mental health condition, such as: depression, anxiety, or personality issues. You can possibly engage in negative self-talk because of unhealthy patterns.


Reckless self-talk patterns toward oneself include these negative effects:


  • Not addressing issues in relationships
  • Substance use
  • Too much alone time
  • Not seeking assistance
  • Failing to take care of oneself
  • Denying the effects of your negative self-talk
  • Surrounding oneself with pessimists
  • Low self-esteem
  • Lack of motivation
  • Not feeling close to God


Any of the reckless practices mentioned (or not mentioned) above can lead to negative self-talk if you are mentally stuck.

However, most people have self-doubt, anxiety, anger, or depression occasionally, or at sometime, in their life. But, why do these problems arise to create negative self-talk? Here are some possibilities for this negative phenomena, as listed below:

1. Self-Inflicted Thinking:

How frequently does that inner negative voice speak to say you are incapable or not good enough? You’ll eventually convince yourself to believe that relentless notion as it runs through your head.

2. Perfectionism:

Perfectionism is one of the results of negative self-talk. Some people think it’s not good enough to be “good” or “terrific” in any given situation. They believe in only being flawless!

3. Poor Interactions:

Negative self-talk is not loving oneself. Thus, this behavior often  negatively impacts your interactions with others. You may spontaneously interact with others as a needy, sad, insecure, or angry person—if you have these types of “I don’t love myself” thoughts. Additionally, having these poor beliefs can push you to isolate from others.

4. Not Connected with God:

Some people may find that their poor self-talk leads to: “I am too dirty or evil for God.” This inhibits them from feeling closer to their Source or God. These people don’t believe they are worthy of God’s acceptance, love, or intervention. A greater hope and comfort is lost for them.

Positive Solutions for Negative Self-Talk

To heal from the negative effects of self-talk, below are some simple solutions to better manage or move on from its harmfulness.

1. Thought Flipping:

If your suffering from wounds within, such as self-inflicted thinking, you might start by replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk. This happens by first recognizing it. To manage negative self-talk means to mentally flip it (like Judo)  within or counter it with positive self-affirmations. A person’s thought flipping from negatives to positives will help him or her to deprive the negative self-talk of its influence.

2. Be Absent of Absolutes:

Absolute statements like “I always have to do ____ right” or “Life must be perfect” are examples of poor self-talk by the perfectionist. The following solutions are ways  to counter perfectionism. Switch the way you perceive reality from “I always have to do ____ right” to “I can do ____ if I try it in the best way.”

3. Insecurity:

A person’s insecurity may relate to their “mind reading” of someone else. You assume something, meaning you think you understand what people are saying to you during conversations. Due to unresolved issues from childhood (like, insecurities), this kind of self-talk is negative. It produces poor interactions or harmful reactions toward what other people say to you. However, it is challenging to recognize because it’s your normal; your automatic type of thinking from which you make conclusions about yourself. You can, however, learn to not over identify yourself with the comments or feedback of others–or, for what you think or do to yourself. Instead you can say to yourself, “I wonder if something terrible happened because my husband is upset.”

4. Shame or Guilt:

Negative self-talk occurs when you excessively dwell on shameful or guilty feelings. These guilty or shameful feelings harm you within. You are not close to the Source; your God. It takes practice to replace negative beliefs about yourself, by developing positive self-talk. (See the earlier examples, above, for more insight and help with this.) Despite the situation–internally or externally–you need to practice forgiving yourself. Give yourself a chance to make or create positive self-talk, self-talk that’s reasonable, etc.  as you move into the future. This includes trying to get close to God. Afterall, isn’t God forgiving?


Negative self-talk occurs when you obsess within. These negative feelings can truly harm you internally and even externally toward others. It takes practice to replace these negative beliefs by developing positive self-talk—for healthy self-affirmations. Thus, you’ll feel better per these affirmations. You also need to practice forgiving yourself to avoid the poor and repeated effects of negative self-talk. Overall, using the divine Source, which is why it exists for people, can be a great resource of help here. For more earthly type of assistance, professional counseling or seeing a hypnotherapist can also be of help.

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